Feeling sad and alone most of my life was the inspiration to create these unique illustrations. Struggling with depression since I was a teen it took me years to unlearn a lot of ideas that I was socialised to believe, many of which were negatively impacting my mental health. I’m still figuring out how to be alive in this world but sharing my thoughts and realisations with others has proven to be a very rewarding process. The more I learn about how to live and love more fully the more I like to share my thoughts and realisations with my online community Recipes For Self Love. I’ve been running my Instagram account for about two years now and have built a following of over 445k people from around the world. I want to continue growing my online community while spreading awareness and truths that I found to have helped me a lot.
This applies to both romantic and platonic relationships!
We are not competitors, we are allies. We need to work together to destroy oppressive power structures that seek to distract and control us
Don’t feel ashamed about feeling the need to spend time hiding away from the world – take the time you need to rest and repair
Not everyone’s family is a source of love and support. Boundary setting can be extremely difficult, especially with family, but it’s important to do in order to protect yourself
Society as lead us to believe that our ultimate goal is to be beautiful because according to the white supremacist capitalist patriarchy beauty = value. Beauty standards exist, they are narrow and limited, some people fall into the category of what is considered “beautiful” and some don’t. The truth is we don’t need to be beautiful!!! It’s not the most important in life – we are so much more than that. Let us be weird, ugly, gross, have bad taste. It doesn’t mean we’re any less amazing, valuable or worthy of love
You don’t need to spend time with people you bring you down and make you feel shitty, you simply don’t
Not a smile, not an engaging conversation, nada. Men are not entitled to women’s and trans-feminine bodies and attention. You don’t owe them anything
Sometimes we get sick, and it’s not our fault or something to be ashamed of
Self preservation! Often in life one needs to put oneself first, and there’s nothing wrong with this. You need to look after yourself and protect yourself, and this doesn’t mean you’re a selfish or bad person
We often feel the need to be nice, since we run the risk of being labeled “a b****” for exercising characteristics like boldness, assertiveness or critical thinking. It’s also often safer to be nice and exercise de-escalating tactics in order to reduce conflict in a potentially violent situations. Your safety comes first of course but in ordinary situations remember that you don’t always have to be nice. If you’re low on energy, keep it for yourself
Sharing your emotions takes courage, it often brings you closer to the people you’re sharing with. Sometimes people make you feel weird when sharing but maybe it’s not you that’s weird but them who feel discomfort because of your vulnerability. Try to practice sharing your emotions when you feel compelled to, perhaps remain conscious of who you chose to be open with.
You don’t have to know where you’re going. You don’t have to have a clear plan or path. Don’t let not knowing where you’re going stop you from moving. Keep going and you’ll get there
Don’t sacrifice too much for your job, don’t lose sight of yourself and your worth in the face of pressure from work. You are replaceable in any position, remember that no job is worth damaging your physical, mental health, valuable relationships and happiness. Capitalism doesn’t care for us, it’s just not worth it
The world tries so hard to convince us that the way we look is the most important and defining thing about us when in fact it’s not really important at all. We are so much more than our bodies, we are magic!
There’s only one you, that’s ever been and ever will be. You’re so precious and unique so celebrate that!
Don’t spend time with people who bring you down, drain your energy or make you feel lonely. There are plenty of precious connections to be made with people who will enrich your life, invest in those relationships
We all grow and change over time and so do our relationships. Not everyone is meant to be in your life forever. Friends come and go, allow them to, and don’t be afraid to let go of relationships (platonic/romantic) that are no longer good for you
In work and relationships, it hurts to hear someone doesn’t want you or your ideas & it can really knock your self worth. Don’t let it get you down, the world has a way of working things out. Try to process those feelings and release them. Everyone experiences rejection, it’s going to happen and happen again, it’s not the end, trust that there is something better for you
You’re not perfect and you don’t have to be. You’re not going to be everyone’s cup of tea but it doesn’t matter. Don’t change yourself to get other’s approval, don’t apologise for who you are
Don’t make fun of their fashion, or their hair, or anything. Get out of the habit of being critical of other women, the world is critical enough
Get behind other women, build them up, support them, their success is our success
You’ve heard the saying “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” and there is a lot of truth to it, but sometimes what doesn’t kill you leaves you fucking traumatized and/or with PTSD so be gentle with yourself when it comes to facing life’s many challenges. Don’t let platitudes like this make you feel like you’re failing to somehow “rise above” your circumstances
It might take a bit of practice but boundary setting is so important when it comes to protecting yourself
Change is good, change is necessary, change is important
Although it might feel like you’re barely surviving rn, and you’re drowning, it’s not always going to be like this. There are new and positive experiences you’re going to have, people you will meet that will make you happy you’re alive, don’t lose hope
Oh and btw things that you might not think affect you actually do. For example most men don’t realize that they also suffer from the patriarchy. Toxic masculinity is a dangerous by-product of the patriarchy and restricts and punishes men for deviating from a particular idea of masculinity. This hurts them, and in turn they hurt us. It is in all of our best interest to rid this world of oppressive power structures!